Away for training/Bipolarism

Posted: Thu Jan 31, 2008 04:23 pm Post Subject:

I guess if they put some thing new out that is useful it will be okay. Like what are we doing for our wounded warrior, families of our veterans while they are deployed, etc, etc. But it seems each year that we get the same old speech and I go back to my little world with no more than I went there with.

That is sweet that your grandbaby calls and leaves you messages, at just the right time, that could bring tears to your eyes.

I have to put time on my phone, I am toooooo cheap to buy a plan so I still use the tracfone, had a cell one, way tooooo much money for the same service that I get through tracfone. I usually dump it all summer long and just activate it if I foresee a lot of travel or the weather is getting tough. I think I have like 14 minutes left, so I will go on ebay and buy some discounted time. LOL.

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 01:09 am Post Subject:

Thought you guys could use this

What causes Bipolar Disorder?
The cause of Bipolar Disorder is not fully understood. However it is likely that there are several factors at work. It seems very likely that there is a genetic component, but there is no simple biological identifier for the illness. More than 50% of people with Bipolar Disorder have at least one parent with a mood disorder.

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:43 am Post Subject:

I agree with that...almost anyone I know with this has parents/children with the same...clearly a genetic link.

Posted: Fri Feb 01, 2008 11:54 am Post Subject:

I thought it was a great article that did not give an excuse but explains it pretty thoroughly.

Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 06:44 pm Post Subject:

He has told the kids he loves them and I told me lots of time. It a matter of weighing the good times and the bad times.Now the bad times are beginning to outweigh the good. He was raised by one parent who I might classify as by-polar too,his mother.She was a very strange one while he was growing up and his dad reacted much like me till he died 2 years ago. My hubby screams a lot at us.The whole house has turned into a bunch of screamers always screaming at each other.I grew up in a house where my father was a weekend drunk.he would take his money and while we sat at home watching out the window for his car lights to come home with food,he was drinking it up.My parents argued all the time and separated so many times.I never blamed my mother though .He was always threatening to kill her when he was drinking.Anyway i have had lots of training to be committed to a relationship till there is nothing left there. He does feel bad that he has reacted so bad in front of the kids but he says he can't take it back.But he can do better i say.But I think it is to late for the kids.

Posted: Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:33 pm Post Subject:

hummingbird,
Just because you went through it as a child does not make it okay, you know how hurtful it can be from true experience, do you really want your kids to experience that hurt and pain.

I hope he straightens up soon, it may not be too late for the kids if they start seeing a better side of him soon. Better late than never.

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:28 am Post Subject:

You know it's really hard to go against your rearing....I grew up in a well, it was not a good childhood...However I made the consciense decision that my children would have a great childhood...I would make damn sure of it...and I think if you'd ask them, they would say they did. I was bound and determined come hell or high water, this pattern was going to stop with me...(on my branch of the family tree anyway).....It's never too late...for you or your kids or husband, but you can only change you...you and only you are in charge of your behaviors and reactions...it's hard, I know....but when you make a commitment to change, you must have a resolve. You will be surprised how your family could change when one person (most important in my opinion the mama) changes how she handles situations and reacts...for instance if you absolutely refuse to 'engage' or scream yourself no matter what is sent your way....it'll take a long while and belive me they will do all they can to try and make you...but you have to decide.....I'm reading a really good book by the same author I told you about (in your library) called, ''bad childhood, good life'' check it out....it may prove helpful....remember 'one person can make a difference'

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:44 am Post Subject:

I agree Lori, and from a mothers point of view you always want a better life for your kids. hummingbird, you know first hand what living in fear means, you know first hand that verbal abuse and screaming is just as painful as someone taking an axe to your head, it can tear your heart out sometimes, like cher said, words are like weapons, they wound you sometimes. Pretty soon scar tissue builds up and you get more resistant to the pain. Still is not right. I like Lori's approach her. Most people would say, leave the *******, but instead, she is saying that if you don't scream back, then it is one less screamer in the household and if they see that their screaming is not getting the reacation that they want, they will stop, at least the screaming at you.

Home is supposed to be a good place to be, where you find comfort and love, not a war zone, time to call a cease fire and let the key players know, you are not playing anymore.

Goodluck

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:51 am Post Subject:

thanks august....very well summation of exactly what i was trying to say.....with the emphasis that you cannot ever change another, only your self....i heard one time, that family strife, and really any kind of problems....bring out the best and the worse....we aren't measured by the weight of the burden, everyone has their own to carry, rather the way we CHOSE to carry it.

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:10 pm Post Subject:

Good morning Lori,
Having my morning coffee with you again, got about five minutes here, LOL.

I think that to live in a household like this is just plain old abusive to the weaker family members. Change now or your kids will have the same households for their kids, would you want your grandkids going through all this mental torture? I know you probably feel helpless here hummingbird, but you know what, it is taking everyone of you right now to make up that family unit, it is taking everyone of you right now to call your house home and as unfortunate as it sounds, it is taking everyone of you to keep the choas going also. Don't react to them, Lori has a good point here.

Action :twisted: -----------------------------reaction :cry: :oops: :oops: :cry:

How about:
Action: :twisted: ------------------------- reaction: :D :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

At least one of you would not be angry. :D :lol: