by goodnatured » Mon Jan 21, 2008 02:58 am
What are you thoughts on family quality time? What are some things that you do with your family for quality time? I have a four year old who I make every effort to make each moment quality time with her, even if we are putting laundry in the washer, or taking them out of the dryer, I make sure that we have discussion during this chore. We have some wonderful conversations that often leads into some pretty far out subjects and I have to some how find a way to loop it back around, I sometimes have to remind myself that she is only four and I must go back in time and be four all over again to be part of her pint size world.
She has always been so helpful and volunteering since I can remember, I have always given her the respect she deserves as a human being since the day she came home with me. In return, she has respected me and the other people she encounters through life.
I think that you get what you give, they are not too young to be respected, listened to, conversated with, their opinion counts, they have something valuable and intelligent to offer even at the tender age of four. Someday, she will walk out the door a young lady, someday she will be married, someday she will have children of her own, someday she will be the woman that I hope has a strong foundation and is wise enough to make good decisions.
We, as parents, who say, I don't have time, you know what, this little people don't have to have time set aside for them, get them involved in what you are doing. Four hands are better than two, two heads are better than one. They really appreciate it when you let them help with the big people chores. My little one will tell me, “You did a good job mom” Now, I have to wonder where she heard that? She will tell me, “ You can do it mom” She is my biggest cheerleader and I am hers, she is a blessing to me, and I appreciate all the joy she has given me.
You don't have to make a chore list or hand out gold stars, your voice, your expressions, your words mean the world to them, you are their heros, so take the opportunity to spend time with them. There is no excuse not too.
She has always been so helpful and volunteering since I can remember, I have always given her the respect she deserves as a human being since the day she came home with me. In return, she has respected me and the other people she encounters through life.
I think that you get what you give, they are not too young to be respected, listened to, conversated with, their opinion counts, they have something valuable and intelligent to offer even at the tender age of four. Someday, she will walk out the door a young lady, someday she will be married, someday she will have children of her own, someday she will be the woman that I hope has a strong foundation and is wise enough to make good decisions.
We, as parents, who say, I don't have time, you know what, this little people don't have to have time set aside for them, get them involved in what you are doing. Four hands are better than two, two heads are better than one. They really appreciate it when you let them help with the big people chores. My little one will tell me, “You did a good job mom” Now, I have to wonder where she heard that? She will tell me, “ You can do it mom” She is my biggest cheerleader and I am hers, she is a blessing to me, and I appreciate all the joy she has given me.
You don't have to make a chore list or hand out gold stars, your voice, your expressions, your words mean the world to them, you are their heros, so take the opportunity to spend time with them. There is no excuse not too.
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 06:31 am Post Subject:
Wow, goodnatured, great post, you must have a great relationship with your kid, she is blessed to have a mother like you. You are right about the quality time, I know a lot of parents would just as soon yell at a kid to get something done rather than help them do it. I guess it is easier to rant and rave at a child than to actually try and communicate and understand. Drives me crazy. We have such a big responsibility to do right by our kids, you figure if we don't look out for our own, who will?
Your daughter is going to do great, hopefully you two will continue what you started through out her life and she will pass this on to her own children. So I only have one thing to say, “Great Job Mom” LOL.
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 07:23 am Post Subject:
Great post indeed. And I too pray that your kid grow up to become a nice person. Its very important that you spend good times with the kids, because it determines the kind of person they will become in the future. All the good things that you'll teach them now, they'll pass that on to their next generation. And the family traits will keep on revolving.
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 11:07 am Post Subject:
good morning niceatheart,
thank you for responding, I hope you will consider registering and participating with us on the forums.
I firmly believe that what you put into a kid today determines the outcome tommorro. I hope so anyway.
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 01:44 pm Post Subject:
You set a good example and make some really good points, who says that time has to be put a side or scheduled. Yes, ideally that would be wonderful, but like you say, just getting them involved with the chores and not making it seem like work will encourage a good healthy work ethic in them also.
I am sure that you sit down and do things with her that are in her age bracket too you just seem like the type that would do that.
You set an awesome example good, keep up the good work. Maybe you should write an article on a parenting forum huh? Do you participate in any of those? if not, You should.
Posted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 07:38 pm Post Subject:
good nature you must be one of the greatest moms there is. you must of had a good role model to feel so much compassion. im glad to see your question so many families are to busy to spend time together until something happens and it seems the only thing they do after that is look for who they can blame for the problem not realizeing if they had spent a little time together they would of seen the problem comeing. keep up the good work as a mother and you wont have any problems that you cant handle before they get out of hand. good luck and keep up with your daughter.
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:36 am Post Subject:
thank you dadummy,
Actually I had a great role model, she worked her rearend off to put food on the table and clothes on our backs, she put a good work ethic in me and I try to show that to my daughter.
The thing is that I really enjoy being her mother, she has given me back ten times what I could ever given her or ever will. She is paying it forward that is for sure. She is a good girl, has a few imaginary friends and now imaginary pets that goes every where with us, so you have to watch where you sit so that you don't sit or step on anyone that you don't see, they are all invisible.
This stage is a little creepy to me, after watching all those freaky movies, I have to wonder if the invisible people are REALLY there, LOL, just kidding, I hope not!
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 02:22 am Post Subject:
I think you make some of the most sincere posts that I have read on these forums, you should have had ten kids, LOL.
I think some people take child raising for granted, there is a lot more to raising children then just having them. It amazes me to see people with a mini van full starting with one on the hip clean up to the teenage years, I don't see how they do it. You have to wonder how they get it all done and have individual time for each child, there is no possible way. I think ideally no more than four and have them a few years a part so that each one has their time to be a baby and bond with their mother. You see the ones that have two at a time in diapers, how do you afford it and how do you have time to give to each child the attention they need and deserve.
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 03:18 am Post Subject:
I know what you mean erb, don't know how they afford it financially either, and shame, shame if they are still having kids and laying on the state system. This is no way for kids to live, the money is just not enough to cloth them properly and they get stigmatized and labeled when they go to school. I remember how these poor kids were treated in school, kids are cruel and they don't care who you are, you set your kids up as a target for this, when you choose to live like this. Having 5 or more these days is crazy, they used to do it in the old days, but it was mainly to work the farms not to do it for a raise in an assistance check, like I see a lot where I live. Its too bad for the kids. They are the ones that suffer.
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 04:01 am Post Subject:
They don't seem to mind, you see them unload and head into the grocery store, one by one, load up the cart and off they go. I could not afford nor would I want that many children at one time, I had six through out my life time, they are all grown and gone, can't imagine having them all around the same age. Would be enough to drive a woman crazy, I had three at home at one time and that was enough for me, they were a few years a part in age, my girls were older, so they would help with the younger ones, but there were times they did not want bothered with it. Can't blame them, they were in their teenage years. None of them had children young so that may have helped having a baby in the house, cute, but no thank you. The best ones now are the ones that I can hand back to momma. LOL
Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 03:15 am Post Subject:
Now erb, you don't really mean that, LOL.
I had a foster kid one time, she was 16 and wanted a baby so bad, I had her for a total 19 days, ours was teething at the time, she got four teeth at a time, cruel, Well that was the best birth control for the teenager, she told her counselor that she did not want to have kids for a long, long time, LOL.
I say, whatever works!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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