Laws and help in MO

I bought my car april 9 of this year, car was hail damaged two weeks later. Insurance company is saying it's totaled. Ok fine, but they claim its not worth even close to what I owe. So i figured i had no choice but to buy it back. So that is what I said I wanted to do. And they said ok after the deductible and buying back i would get about 2500 (crap) but anyways i was explained i'd have ot fix for this. basically i'll replace my convertible top since it had a few spots of damage and my windshield and some of the dents (cellulite) as I've been saying lately. anywas they said they'd have to get a guarantee from the lien holder (place i bought car from) they said they'd do this but I had to understand I pay the same amount of the car as previous. I owe $4800 but now I'm being told that the lien holder will receive the check, and they get to do whatever they want with the check. So my concern is I feel like I just got took. I just put $2000 down on the car, owed $4800 made one payment of $150 and now I owe $4800 for a trashed car, and can not fix it even fix some of what is damaged because the insurance company ssays the check must go to the lien holder. I'm confused, how is this fair shouldn't at the very least the lien holder take off my loan the $2500 that will be received from the insurance company? or say here is your check go fix it? And honestly even if they said take it to their guys I will jump off a building that is 3 stories high before I do that. I had a sensor go bad after 3 weeks and was told oh take it to "our guy" was under the impression theyw ere covering it and NOPE... And what was sad is that the sensor was a $125 part and takes about 30 mintues to change out and i could of done it but had i of taken the car after their guys looked at it i was told i'd be stuck with a $150 bill for just htem looking at or pay $252 and they'd do it all. so I said f it just fix it. and never again will i agree i understand live and learn but htis is nuts this can't be right that I'm going to make payments on a trashed car and my liend holder who happens to be where I bought the car from keeps my iinsurance check. i'd of been better off not turning it over to the insurance company because now after the title becomes prior salvaged it decreases the value even more. what do i do if anything?? hlauden@live.com